An insight into the cluster-fuck that is a double-Widow’s brain. I have a recurring dream that i want to share with you. It is a bit odd.

I am going about my day to day life, as it is now. Smashing double-widowhood with as much force as i can manage.

I go to some sort of event. This varies between movie premieres, theatre performances, gigs, that sort of thing.

During the event, focus turns to me. I am in the spotlight and someone faceless comes over to me.

“Mrs Haslem-Bantoft, the time has come to let you in on a little secret. Your entire life is being broadcast to millions.”

What theeeeee?

“Your Husbands didn’t really die. They are both still alive. Let’s welcome them here now!”

And there they are.

Not dead.

Looking all fancy pants and snazzy.

And you know what i say?

“Well, i didn’t expect it to be announced like this! I expected it to be much more extravagant.”

That is it. Why the heck am i not shocked?! Like this was a normal thing to be told?!

Anyway, from this i can deduce that subconsciously i think a few things.

1.) I wish my Husbands weren’t dead. Obvs.

2.) My life is so unbelievable that it really SHOULD be broadcast. You couldn’t make this shit up!

3.) I have ideas above my station about my importance it seems!

Post dream, i always start my favourite hobby, overthinking! If they were part of the show, did they actually even love me? Why would someone want me to go through that much turmoil? DO I GET PAID FOR THIS?!

Why on earth my mind thinks i need yet MORE useless waffle to think about i don’t know.