I am going to share something incredibly personal with you now. And I’m not telling you this because I want you to be haunted by mental images of my vagina (although that is gonna happen, you’re welcome), I am telling you because the stigma around this subject needs to go away!

Today I went for my 3 yearly ‘Cervical Screening Examination’.

That’s right, my SMEAR test (I hate the word SMEAR. It is made worse by my insistence to say it in a ridiculous and loud voice like you are now doing inside your head).

Since Jason died, I have been so much more aware of my mortality. I am the only Mummy that my boys have, so I will do absolutely all I can to prevent my life being cut short too. If that means making awkward conversation with a lady whilst she lubes up, so be it. Plus, if the nurse has a nice new haircut, it is only polite to tell her!

I know countless women that put off having their cervical screening examination because they are worried that it will hurt, or be so mortifying they would cry, but it is literally 2 minutes that could save your life. It does NOT hurt. The nurse doesn’t care if you have pubes that resemble a Jackson 5 Afro, or if one of your flaps looks like Winston Churchill. She is getting paid to be down there, and no offence, but your fanny isn’t so special that she will remember it forever. She is going to put her fingers (then a speculum, then a little brush) inside your love tunnel and then not even ask for your phone number.

I have included a link to the NHS website if anyone needs more information, I am confident that they have described it in a more serious way than I have.…/cervical-screen…/Pages/introduction.aspx

Go get your guaranteed fingering, girls!!

(Seriously, make sure you are up to date. It could save your life.)

Please share this with the women in your life, that may be nervous about it, putting it off, or who are late in booking it. Let’s eradicate the taboo around SMEARS because all women need them, so we should talk about them.