Choosing to end a relationship is never easy, especially when you have made massive sacrifices, and taken a huge leap of faith for someone, but the situation cannot be avoided sometimes.
No matter how much you desperately want something to work, there are sometimes situations whereby you are too completely different to your partner, that it cannot work.
I found myself in this situation, and it has been a hard decision to make, but I have chosen to end my relationship with Tom.
He is out of hospital, and the stem cell transplant went as well as could be expected. He will hopefully be absolutely fine, and I am honoured to have been able to support him through the process, but we are fundamentally wrong for each other.
Maybe I have been watching too many movies, perhaps it was my wonderful marriage, or maybe my (loooooooong) history of dating has taught me a lot, but I have certain expectations in a relationship, and they were not being met, nor even attempted.
One film that has given me certain expectations is Trolls.
I am Princess Poppy and he was Branch.
Poppy is bright and charismatic, colourful, sings at every opportunity and LOVES to hug. She may be an ‘opinionated loudmouth’ but she is always honest and upfront. He would prefer to be alone, doesn’t show any emotion, and can’t think of anything worse than hug time.
Poppy can see the best in Branch, and knows that deep down, there is a wonderful person, just afraid to let it show, so she never gives up, even when he pushes her away and makes her feel like she is totally unimportant.
After enduring a terribly tough time against the Bergens (naming no names), Poppy has finally lost her sparkle. She is heartbroken and loses her colour.
At this point, Branch sees that the one person who has been kind to him the whole time is hurting, so he reaches out to her and shows her that he loves her. He comforts her and brings her back to her amazing rainbow self.
Only in real life, that didn’t happen. No one sang ‘True Colours’ to me. No one told me I was beautiful or funny. Future plans of taking over Bergen Town didn’t include me.
I have decided that I have done all I can to prove I am worthy of love and affection. I have gone above and beyond, only to get nothing back. I spent 11 months giving it my all.
I will always love Tom, always. I sacrificed a lot for him and offered him unconditional love, which won’t ever completely go away, however I need to put myself first for a change.
I didn’t go through the heartbreak of the love of my life dying, just to settle for meaning nothing to someone.
Time to focus on the kids, who will inevitably find this time confusing, but I think they are going to be just fine, because their Mummy will finally get her sparkle back.
Don’t be afraid to let your true colours show.
***EDITED TO ADD***
For the one who is being critical, I agree the timing is shitty, but this is an ongoing issue, not a new one in the last couple of weeks. The entirety of the relationship has been this way. The alternative is to continue a farce and let my boys get closer to someone that doesn’t want a life with them in it. Not a decision I made lightly, so wind it in if you want to be a douche. ☝🏼