Today I went back to counselling!
I need to be able to rationalise my thoughts out loud, to someone who is objective and can help me understand the way my brain is processing things.
Counselling will never ever ‘fix’ me, but I am hoping that it will help me face the demons which are on my journey with me now.
I have returned to see the person I saw after Jason died, so she ‘knows me’, but I still struggle to open up completely.
If anything, my blog is my biggest form of counselling, as having no actual person in front of me makes it less scary.
Today we discussed the void I am feeling.
I am literally feeling nothing.
Partially the antidepressants, partially the fact I am trying to keep busy so I don’t need to focus on how I feel.
Hopefully this will pass, I am fed up of feeling like a shell.
So I will keep talking. Keep facing my fears of opening the floodgates.
Keep having hope.
Less bleak next time, I promise!