Yesterday was Tom’s 33rd Birthday, but he will be forever 32.
So belated Happy Birthday to my moon. I hope that wherever you are, you are happy.
The reason I didn’t post about it yesterday isn’t because I forgot, quite the opposite, actually.
It is because I spent the evening in A&E.
Throughout the day I kept on getting waves of feeling like I would black out, nausea, hot flushes, a racing heart, chest pains and a lovely dose of pins and needles in my arms and legs. It became too much too ignore so I went to get checked out.
I was displaying lots of symptoms of a heart attack so they were very urgent in looking after me! Thankfully, however, it wasn’t that serious. It was a type of anxiety attack that I haven’t experienced before, which in all honesty, was terrifying.
There were moments that I thought I would be the next one to die in my cursed life!
It seems the trauma of my life combined with the stress of being a widowed parent caught up with me. I have been advised to ‘slow down’ otherwise I could do some long term damage, which is easier said than done.
I will endeavour to lean on my support network more and make time for myself from now on, as much as I can anyway.
My boys need me to be ok.