Hello, Rainbow Adventurer!
My name is Jess. I am 29 and have three boys who are aged 8, 5 and 3.
BORING!! I hear you say?
Oh, well how’s about the phrase DOUBLE-WIDOW. How does that grab ya!?
You see, I am quite possibly the most unlucky girl in the world (aside from the awesome kids and great hair, obvs), because both men who I have loved, have died.
Jason and I got married in March 2013 when Toby was 2 and George was 16 weeks old.
We were married for 17 1/2 months when Jason died in August 2014, when I was almost 12 weeks pregnant with our youngest baby. He went out to work one day and just never came home. He was electrocuted in an accident at work. He was 24 and I was 25.
Life went a bit tits-up at that point. Before that I had a very normal, some may say dull life.
We got through as best we could and in July 2016 I met Tom. It was terrifying falling in love again, but he was totally worth it.
Theeeeeeen January 2017 we found out Tom had cancer.
Told you I was fucking unlucky.
He had treatment and a stem cell transplant and actually had the all clear from the cancer!!
PLOT TWIST: He still didn’t survive.
On January 6th 2018 we found out he had a couple of days to live. He had something called Graft Versus Host Disease which was a side effect to the stem cell transplant. The cancer wasn’t going to kill him, the cure was. We got married that evening and 30 hours later he died. He was 32 and I was 28.
Months later I am starting to emerge from the fog again. Trying to give my boys a life that they can enjoy.
My aim with the blog is to talk about death and make it not taboo!
When i was first widowed I had no idea what to expect, or if what I was feeling and doing was normal or acceptable. I had never seen a dead body or had to arrange a funeral! I never had to deal with kid’s grief or imagine a future without my person in it.
So I write.
Maybe seeing that life can actually still be fun, even when facing your demons and a sea of loneliness could help someone.
Thanks so much for being here!